In twenty-four hours, I will ride a big ol' jet airliner back across the globe to what I've always called home. Except that what I've always called home doesn't exist anymore.
I will probably live in my house until it sells, but with most of my stuff packed away, with a lockbox on the door, and with people coming to view the place, it won't feel like mine anymore. It won't feel like home.
In the weeks before I left for Greece, while packing my stuff and feeling such deep sorrow for having to leave my house, I decided to practice Qigong against/with/through the walls of my house, particularly load-bearing walls, for within those walls are wooden beams that have held up the house since 1947. Lots of energy in those beams. (Thanks to Sifu Dan Ferrera for this teaching.)
I have barely a beginner's understanding of Qigong, but I have an open heart and an open mind. So, standing a few feet from a load-bearing wall in my house, not really sure what I was doing, I inhaled and exhaled, leaned toward and away, cried and didn't cry, felt angry at my circumstances and then accepted them.
Then, slowly, quietly, I let go of the the anger and not-anger, the crying and not-crying, and I simply felt, noticed, listened.
And the house said, I'm still standing.
And I said, so am I.
---------------------------------
P.S.
The house sold. I got the news today, just two hours after posting the above. Still standing...
I will probably live in my house until it sells, but with most of my stuff packed away, with a lockbox on the door, and with people coming to view the place, it won't feel like mine anymore. It won't feel like home.
In the weeks before I left for Greece, while packing my stuff and feeling such deep sorrow for having to leave my house, I decided to practice Qigong against/with/through the walls of my house, particularly load-bearing walls, for within those walls are wooden beams that have held up the house since 1947. Lots of energy in those beams. (Thanks to Sifu Dan Ferrera for this teaching.)
I have barely a beginner's understanding of Qigong, but I have an open heart and an open mind. So, standing a few feet from a load-bearing wall in my house, not really sure what I was doing, I inhaled and exhaled, leaned toward and away, cried and didn't cry, felt angry at my circumstances and then accepted them.
Then, slowly, quietly, I let go of the the anger and not-anger, the crying and not-crying, and I simply felt, noticed, listened.
And the house said, I'm still standing.
And I said, so am I.
---------------------------------
P.S.
The house sold. I got the news today, just two hours after posting the above. Still standing...
No comments:
Post a Comment